To be able to finish your studies is such a big achievement that people look up to you for being able to survive the struggle and being triumphant in your own way.
However, that is not the case with Shu-shu, an only child born in 1984 to parents named Liu Yu (mother) and Liang Jun (father). The small family was living happily until the parents found out that their child was not like any other child.
Shu-shu’s growth was not normal. While most of children around her age had already learned to walk, 19-month-old Shu-shu hadn’t started walking yet. She also had speech delay and had trouble to speak easy words like “papa” and “mama”.
Liu Yu felt really disappointed with the condition of her daughter. As she and her husband were known achievers in their locality, she feared that Shu-shu will not be like them and will be a subject of criticism from people around her.
As the only solution she could find, Liu Yu decided to give her daughter many kinds of food supplement that were said to be good for brain development.
As a side effect of the various medicines, Goodtimes reported that Shu-shu had her first menstruation earlier than most girls around her age. Liu Yu even ignored her friend’s advice to stop giving Shu-shu food supplement although her friend was a doctor. She thought that the food supplement would help her daughter to become smart.
Liu Yu also hired a private tutor for Shu-shu to help her in her studies.
Shu-shu’s positive development encouraged Liu Yu to increase her efforts. She asked Shu-shu to participate in a national quiz competition. She expected that Shu-shu would easily win the competition but Shu-shu ended up losing. While her opponent had already knew the answer, Shu-shu was struggling to understand the question.
This had put pressure on Shu-shu. She could only write in her diary about how stressed and embarrassed she was to live under her mother’s high expectation.
“I have slow reaction. I always get the last place in any activities but mama and papa never wanted to admit about this. They thought being bright is innate to me since they are top in their fields. Even though they are successful, my life is not easy. I feel so much pressured about this and I feel sorry for my parents to have a child like me.”
In 2000, Shu-shu was accepted to study at a top senior high school but she failed miserably during her first exam.
A week after the incident happened, Shu-shu asked Liu Yu to move to a different school as she could not catch up with her studies at the school.
Liu Yu was furious with Shu-shu but her husband asked her to respect their daughter’s decision. She could not understand why Shu-shu wanted to do so.
Later in 2003, Shu-shu was accepted to study Economics at a prestigious university. Liu Yu and her husband was extremely happy with the news. They shed tears of joy upon receiving Shu-shu’s offer letter from the university.
However, Shu-shu was not excited about going to the university. She failed her first semester and she was the one who failed most subjects in her batch. This time, Shu-shu wanted to just learn at her home.
She continued to write in her diary, “Mama is gifted and smart but her own daughter is not as bright as her. Mama even pushed me to study hard to become like her but I can’t never be like her. Poor Mama.”
After all the struggle she went through, she successfully graduated. She wrote in her diary about how happy she was to finally be able to graduate.
“Passed, everyone is happy and excited to pursue their dream career. But I am the happiest among all coursemates as I do not have to study anymore. I feel so tired to have to study non-stop for 16 years and I would rather die if I had to continue doing this again,” she wrote.
Liu Yu, as usual, worked hard to make sure that Shu-shu get a job. At her work, Shu-shu also struggled as her bosses were very strict. She already got many tasks during her first day working. The pressure was too much and Shu-shu could not do her job well.
Shu-shu did not want to work at the company and told her mother about her problem. However, Liu Yu scolded her for wanting to quit the job so Shu-shu had to continue working at the company. This had caused Shu-shu to be more stressed.
Eventually, Shu-shu couldn’t bear with her stress anymore.
She committed suicide by jumping from the 21st floor of a building.
Shu-shu’s mother was devastated to read her diary. She regretted for what she had done to her daughter but it was all too late. In an interview, Liu Yu said that she wanted to share her story with others to remind every parent about this issue.